So, I am now halfway there. 20 weeks done, 20 more to go. I can’t believe that I am halfway there. Mitch feels like it’s too long and here I am feeling like I don’t have enough time to prepare. Some days, I want the baby here now and other days, I think about everything I have to still do and just get a little overwhelmed. Our space is cramped and I don’t know how to fit a tiny being that requires so much other stuff to be there. I am so glad my parents will be here to help but that is also adding some stress. Not financially per se, but more because we really do live in an apartment made for two or three people at most. Not four adults, one baby and a princess dog.
Since our space is not so big, we can’t get a standard size crib. I searched for what other people do. I mean, we can’t be the only ones with this problem. I found that some people used pack and plays, a bassinet or mini crib. There were a few who said that they basically had the baby sleep on the bed. Umm…no thanks. I can’t imagine trying to make sure I don’t just roll over the baby. I am sure it worked for them, but I just wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that I could accidentally just crush the tiny person next to me. I ordered a mini crib earlier than I would have so I could see if the sze worked. I was thinking if it didn’t work, I could just keep it at my sister’s for when we would visit St Cloud and they research more for an even smaller one. Thankfully, this one fit. After Mitch’s dresser got moved to the living room of course. Oh well. The sacrifices we make for this unborn child.
In about two weeks, we will know if we having a boy or girl and if everything looks good. While in my head, I think I want a boy, I really just want a healthy baby. I am nervous when people tell me things like I don’t look 5 months pregnant, but then I have to realize that I am small and Mitch isn’t a giant, so our baby probably is going to be on the smaller side. I am nervous of low birth weight and any complications from that. The doctor told me that I could have a cup of coffee since I am past the first trimester. I did for a few weeks since I ran out of tea, but the minute I got more tea, I have switched back to that. One small cup a day. I am thinking maybe I should nix that too and not have any caffeine at all. I have not gained much weight, which to other people is nothing to complain about. But, when you another human growing inside, I am just wondering if they are growing. The other day, what a friend told me made sense why I might not be gaining even though I feel like I am eating so much. I have been eating healthier than before. So, while I do have the occasional ice cream bar (ok maybe it’s abit more than occasional now), my snacks consist of carrots, cucumbers, strawberries, bananas, kiwis, melon, apples and yogurt. Chips are for the weekend. I suppose in essence the weight baby is gaining, I am basically off setting by eating healthier? Am I already that mom who worries about everything? I think I am and that though is worrying me. See how this is just a bad cycle?