I was so nervous. I told Mitch that I felt like I am at the entrance to the Wild Thing at Valley Fair. To anyone who knows me pretty well, you know that I hate, HATE, roller coaster rides. Rides of any kind really. So this anxiety was just crazy. We went in on Wednesday and the tech started taking some measurements. OMG! All Mitch and I had seen before was a blob and now we could clearly see a baby! I saw the spine and the ribs which was creepy. I guess she still needs to get some more meat on her and she has about 4 months to do that. Baby Girl sure didn't like the ultrasound invading her space. She kept moving and made it diffifcult for the tech to measure her. Everything looked good and she weighed in at 14 oz.
I have to say, and this will come off bad I suppose. I was dissappointed, for a bit. I so wanted a boy. A son first had been my dream since I could think about having my own kids. So, it just felt like one of my dreams just went away. I know how that sounds. It's not that I am not happy. I am so happy to be able to have this little human. In fact, now there will be mama and me outfits, hair dos and manicures or maybe I won't have a girly girl at all and she will want to spend time fixing up stuff with dad like I did and I just watch out the window and smile like my mama did. I am sure there have been other mommies to be who felt this way but don't say anything because of the judgements from peple. Well, I am telling you, I was disappointed for a few seconds, but really, all I want is a healthy baby. I guess in a way, this is a very public diary of sorts, so I am nervous about just putting it out there. This is how I felt, but it doesn't mean I want to hear all about oh, it'll be fine. A girl is better, etc. I know all that. I know our baby will be perfect for us and she will forever be my baby even when she grows taller than me. Annie is super excited and reading her guide. Not really. She will be excited once baby is here I am sure though. My baby will be absolutely adorable (biased already, I know) and I can't wait to meet her!
~Di